Recently I had a conversation with my Mom in which she relayed a conversation she had had with my cousins wife. They had been visiting them and so my Mom showed her mine and my siblings blogs. My cousins wife expressed that she would never have time to do a blog. That she was so busy just taking care of the kids and cooking and cleaning that there was no time for anything else. My mom agreed with her and said she wouldn't have had time to do the blogs or any of the sewing, crafting, outings with my kids and church calling that I do. I responded in my usual way when approached with this subject, "Well, you probably cleaned more than I do." My mom then replied, "But, your house is not dirty, sometimes messy, but not dirty." So, I've been thinking about this conversation and came up with my own theories on the differences in style of stay at home moms. I thought I'd share in case anyone happened to be interested or can identify in any way.
Before I begin I want to make it clear that I do not feel that one style is any better than the other - just different.
So, my Mom (and I think the majority of women - I think my style is a more masculine way of doing things) is a "See what needs to be done and do it now" kind of a gal. If there are dirty dishes in the sink, they get cleaned
immediately. She told me that she did laundry every single day because there was always enough for a load to be done. Since, she had a house full of 6 kids, I am certain there was something that needed to be done ALWAYS. And so, she was always busy doing those things and didn't have time for any extras. This lends itself to a clean and orderly home and I know she got a lot of fulfillment knowing that she was taking care of the needs of the family and the home. This is a perfectly wonderful way to be a homemaker, the problem for me is - it's just not me.
I am a "compartmentalizer". I have a time and a place that I do things. It's not something that I sit down and schedule, or spend any time putting together - I just do it naturally. And, whatever I am doing, that's what I am doing. So, when I see a need, I make a compartment for it (I schedule a later time that I will get it done.) We'll go with the laundry example. I do laundry on Wednesday's and Wednesday's only. (Well unless a bed gets wet or thrown up on - something out of the ordinary) On Tuesday generally our laundry baskets are full or over flowing. Instead of thinking, "I have so much laundry to do, I better do it now", I think, "It's a good thing laundry day is tomorrow" and then I don't think another thing about it until the next day. Since, I know when laundry gets done, I'm not at all concerned with laundry until that day. After the normal morning routine (scriptures, exercise, breakfast and getting us all clothed) mornings are spent on outings. Most of the time doing something fun with the kids, and sometimes running errands. That's what I do in the morning and that's all. So, yes, the sink is full of both breakfast and lunch dishes, but I'm not at all concerned with it because it's not doing dishes time. I do dishes in the late afternoon usually while I am simultaneously making dinner. So in my compartmentalized brain, dishes in the sink does not mean that I need to do dishes, it just means that I do them when it's their time. Nap/quiet time is my time to either blog, work on a project, or do something calling related. Am I concerned with the dishes in the sink, nope, because it's not what I am doing at the moment. Cleaning gets done on the weekend. The bathrooms are cleaned and the floors are vacuumed, etc. every Friday (sometimes Sat. if something came up). Do I worry how the bathrooms or carpets look on any other day, nope I don't. After the kids go down at night it's back to my time to craft or blog or whatever else. Unless it's Wed., because on Wednesday night I watch a show while folding the laundry that has been washing all day. (side note, I don't fold any of the laundry during the day, because it's not folding laundry time.) You will find me every single Wed. night folding laundry. Sunday afternoon and evening is generally spent doing Primary stuff. So, I have a time and place for all of my duties, including plenty of time to play with my kids, blog, do my calling and craft. My style lends for a much less tidy house and would probably drive the "get it doners" completely crazy. But, I am fulfilled when I get to play with and teach my kids stuff and be creatively productive. If I didn't have some tangible products to show for my time, that would drive me crazy. Without those things, I feel empty and unfulfilled. Plus, my brain is on constant overdrive thinking of something fun to make for/with my kids and fun things for us to do together. I literally cannot turn it off. So my house is reasonably clean (I realize this is subjective) and I fit in all the other stuff I want to do.
Like I said, neither style is any better than the other. As long as your reservoir is filled, then you are doing things exactly the way that you should. Because after all we are all different with different needs and talents. And that's what makes this world an interesting place. Like the title says, "Different strokes for different folks."
