Week 18 - My fertility/Weight Loss Story

I lost 3 pounds this week!! Now I'm up to a total of 35 lbs weight loss! Only 2 more pounds to reach my first weight loss goal - my pre-Aubrey weight.

For those who haven't known me long or do not know me at all, may not know that I suffer from an infertility condition called Poly-cystic Ovary Syndrome. They don't know how exactly it is caused, but they have learned that one of the symptoms is gaining weight rapidly which causes a shift in your hormones and makes it both really challenging to take off the weight plus ovulation is no longer regular.

When I got married my lifestyle changed drastically. Before I had been walking from my apartment and up two flights of stairs to school/work and then back home again everyday. I also went dancing and played racquetball quite frequently. I rarely bought or ate junk food. My roommates and I didn't have a TV or a computer and so my nights were spent studying or socializing and rarely sitting and eating junk food. Anyway, I get married and now have a car and get a full time job at a computer. My hubby loves to watch movies and eat junk food and does not like to dance or play sports. So now my nights are spent running to the convenient store across the street (which I could swipe my work ID and have the junk food taken directly out of my paycheck) buying snacks and watching shows. I started putting on weight (obviously). When I tried to diet, as I had always done in the past, I couldn't loose the weight like I had always been able to. I tried several types of diets and nothing worked. So, I pretty much gave up.

Fast forward about 7 years. We hadn't prevented getting pregnant for almost those entire 7 years and then had been actively trying and going to doctors and taking medicine and doing treatments for 6 of those years. Still no baby. I decided to do some research on my own. I found out about the hormone shift for those with PCOS and how it caused rapid weight gain and then was challenging to loose the weight. I learned though, it is not impossible to loose the weight, and if you can take off 5% of your weight then the hormones start to shift back to normal and you both can loose the weight easier and your ovulation starts to get back to normal. No doctors had given me this information. I don't know if they were even aware of it, or if they just thought  it was easier to give out pills instead of explaining the more natural cures. (I am glad that doctors are now finding out that the natural cures are both more effective and healthier for you. I hope the medical field continues in this direction.)

I started working really hard dieting and exercising and after about a year I managed to loose 60 pounds! It was quite an accomplishment for me. I was off all fertility medicine and hadn't gone to a doctor about it in about 3 years. And guess what - I got pregnant!

My plan was to continue to exercise and eat healthy and try not to gain much of it back. Unfortunately that did not happen. I continued doing my exercise bike, but a few weeks into my pregnancy I started cramping. I know that this is normal, BUT, I was so terrified of having a miscarriage, I was not taking ANY chances. So, I stopped exercising and at any sign of a cramp, I laid down immediately. Luckily I did not have any morning sickness and so could eat totally normally. I am completely grateful for this, and wouldn't have chosen any other way, however it did mean that I did not have the weight loss at the beginning that many pregnant women experience. (Once again, I'm not complaining about this, just explaining. I do not envy any woman who is sick during her pregnancy. It sounds completely horrible to me.) About 20 weeks into my pregnancy I started getting terrible back pains. It started with my sciatic nerve and then moved up into my upper back and shoulder area. The pain was so bad that it was extremely painful to work at my computer (I was a graphic designer at the time and so was at the computer ALL day long) I would want to cry my entire car ride home and I think I did a few times if I hit too many red lights. It was pretty brutal on me both physically and emotionally. Being in that much pain constantly made me feel extremely anxious. Anyway, when I am feeling anxious and in pain, I want yummy food. Of course, I felt like I deserved any good food for all of the pain I was experiencing, so I didn't hold back. Thus, my goal of only gaining the minimum weight gain during pregnancy was not met. I had planned on taking it off when Aubrey was born, but she ended up with jaundice and acid-reflux and pretty much felt miserable and cried and wanted to be held ALWAYS! She woke up all night long until she was 10 months old. Plus, she had extreme stranger/separation anxiety (that started at 6 months old) and would scream at the top of her lungs if anyone but me came near her. I was exhausted and completely spent and the thought of exercising and dieting flew right out of the window!

Almost immediately as my cycle began again (I nursed for 13 months and did not have a cycle during that time.) I got pregnant again with Brooke. I had an almost identical pregnancy with Brooke and also had a very active 1 year old on top of it, so of course I put on more weight.

Thankfully, I did not put all of the weight back on, but I did gain back a good portion of it (37 lbs to be exact). When I originally got pregnant with Aubrey, I had not completed my weight loss goal. I had wanted to lose another 40 lbs, so I would total 100 lb weight loss (I thought that sounded really cool, to loose 100 lbs.) Of course that was a very lofty goal because it would get me back to my high school weight, but I figured, why not aim high! So, now I am first trying to reach my original weight loss (2 more lbs to go!) and then get back on track on my 100 lb goal. Unless, of course, I happen to get pregnant again along the way. I am happy to report that in the last few weeks my cycle has once again become normal - which was one of the main reasons I've been working so hard.

So that's my story for anyone who is at all interested!

Family Night

 For Family Night a couple of weeks ago we went to the library to see a Youth acting group put on the play "School House Rock". I thought the girls would like it because there would be lots of singing and dancing.

Both girls absolutely loved it. Their eyes never left the stage the whole time and they barely moved a muscle. (Except to clap. They loved clapping after each song.)

At the end they pulled the kids up to dance with them. Brooke was too shy, but Aubrey went up.

They happened to be having a family craft time in the children's section also that night, so we stopped by there to do some crafts too.

They made cute cow magnets.

It was a fun family outing for Family night!

Primary Program

 On Sunday Sept. 25th, Aubrey got to participate in her first ever Sacrament Primary Program. She was so excited about it. She had been excited since last September when Jeff told me that she had her eyes glued to the Primary children the entire time. After the program last year, she asked if she would get to do that sometime. Every song we learned this year she would ask if she would get to sing it in the Primary Program.

She had a little speaking part in the program that she asked me to take a video of for the blog. A kid after my own heart! ("The words of Jesus Christ will tell us all the things we should do.")

 Looking so cute for the program. After the program I asked her what her favorite part of it was. She responded, "Being on the stage the whole time!" She sure does like to perform!

Brooke had to have her picture taken too!

Aubrey's curtsy.

Brooke's bow.

It was so fun having Aubrey be a part of the program. Her little speaking part was right at the beginning, so my secretary, Aubrie, was kind enough to trade places with me at the beginning (she was down with the kids who were on the pews) so I could see Aubrey give her part. She looked so cute up at the podium and spoke her part with confidence.

Right before the program began I was released as the Primary President. I think it was a good week for it to happen. I tend to get emotional about things, but since I was so busy making sure everything was ready for the program practice, the actual program and for my Sharing Time, I didn't have any time or energy to spend being emotional about it. And then on Sunday when it happened, my mind was so focused on the program and sharing time that I was able to take it well. After the Program I was so proud of the Primary children. I only had to help one child with her part, everyone else had their parts memorized! And they sang their songs so well and they were unbelievably reverent! It was nice having my last day as President feeling so good about how the program turned out! After I handed off the stuff to the new Pres. I felt kinda empty. Usually Sunday nights I spend doing Primary things, so I didn't know what to do with myself! I loved my calling and those cute kids and I will miss it! I'm getting a new calling on Sunday and am really glad to have a job once again! (I don't like not having anything church related to think about and plan for - I guess I'm weird that way.) Most people asked if I felt relieved, and I can honestly say that that is not a feeling that I experienced. I had felt for several months that my time as President was coming to a close, and so really it just felt right. I had not been anxious to be done or had any feelings that I was ready to leave Primary, only that it was the Lord who felt it was time. I'm glad for all of the experiences and learning and growth that came as a result of my calling. And I am grateful to have gotten to work with and grown close to so many people who served in Primary. Now I'm on to a new adventure that I am really excited about!

Our Beckham Buddy

 We've had Beckham over a couple times to babysit in the last couple weeks. The girls get so excited to babysit their cousin Beckham!

 Aubrey saw these pictures on the screen and said, "Oh look it's cutie Beckham" (In a really cute mothery tone)

They just can't get enough!

Kisses for cousin.

 

The girls sure do love having baby cousins close by!

Purple

 Here's Brookie with her best friend Purple. She loves her blankie. Takes it with her everywhere, calls it her "best friend" and made up a song about it.

Well about a month ago it disappeared, seemingly out of the clear blue sky. We searched everywhere for it. While we were searching for it I told Brooke that it must be playing hide and seek with us. She thought was hilarious and it lessened the blow for her. I finally had to give up that night and put her to bed with a different blanket. She took it really well.

The next day Jeff woke up early and searched again. Then later me and the girls searched everywhere again. How could it just disappear. It had been with her at nap time and we hadn't gone anywhere since. I was a little worried because the girls and Jeff had taken out the trash the day it had disappeared. But I had a hard time believing that anyone would throw it away and that Jeff wouldn't notice it in the garbage bags.

After several days of searching to no avail, I finally searched the web for a matching blanket. Purple had been too much a part of Brooke's life (and ours for that matter) to just let it go. I found an almost identical blanket and ordered it.

It took a couple of weeks to arrive. Brooke would mention almost everyday that purple was still playing hide and seek. One day as I was putting her to bed she looked up at me and said, "Why haven't you found purple yet?" That totally broke my heart. She had her replacement blanket that she snuggled with, but she didn't drag it around the house or go to it for comfort. It just wasn't the same.

Finally the new blanket arrived. I excitedly told Brooke that there was a package for her. I had her help me open it. She looked at it and said, "It's a new purple because my other purple is still hiding."

Once I got it unpacked, she immediately gave it bug hugs, rolled around on the floor with it and said, "It's so soft!" She told me several times in the next few days, "I love my new purple. Tank you Mommy for giving it to me!"

She doesn't call it purple though, it's name is: My New Purple. I think she has to distinguish between the original and the new one. But she does love it just as much!

Yesterday, while I was putting her down for a nap, I turned around and saw the original Purple right in the corner of her room! I couldn't believe my eyes. It then dawned on me that her closet is always open and the door completely covers that corner. When I went and grabbed Purple, Brooke exclaimed, "You found my purple!" I gave her Purple and she excitedly said, "I have two Purples to sleep with!" After her nap she dragged around both purples all over the house. I'm so glad the mystery has been solved. It was really driving me crazy that we couldn't find something that big!